What Good Are The Words

22 WEEKS

2012-02-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day this year, I managed to contract the pink of the eye aka pink eye.

So that's why you all get the special treat of seeing me in my glasses.

The last picture above was taken today, and, as you can see, I am pink eye free.

How far along? 22 weeks

Weight gain/loss: None of your business. I'm seeing a difference in my arms this week. I'm kind of bummed because I've been trying to work my guns out a lot. Oh well.

Maternity clothes? Oh yes. Pretty much everything in my closet is maternity with the exception of a few things.

Stretch marks? Probably until the day I die. My fair skinned curse. Lathering on the lotion to not get any new ones.

Sleep? Last night wasn't great. It's kind of hit or miss. I usually wake up around 1:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. to pee. Baby G was kicking me around 3:00 a.m. last night so I couldn't fall back to sleep very quickly.

Best moment this week? Pink eye (insert sarcasm). Valentine's Day was really nice with Caderyn. I made him a yummy breakfast and he got some special treats and then he told me I was his "special girl." This made me smile. Also, I'm noticing baby really likes certain foods, like cereal and pizza. I get big thumps if I'm eating one of these.

Food cravings: Right now...I could really eat like a huge plate of Thai food with noodles and rice all mixed in and a really spicy curry sauce. Lord, that sound so amazingly good right now. I've also been craving Fruit Loops. I can tell I want them because I can smell them even when they aren't around.
Gender: A busy little boy.
Belly button in or out? In. Never has gone out...
Movement? Not as much as last week, but definitely lots of movement. As I type this, he is fluttering under my right side ribs.
What I miss? Pretty much the same as last week: sleeping on my stomach, a good beer or glass of wine on a Friday. Feeling in shape. Oh, and being able to take an Aleve when I have a headache.

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing Baby G's face. Having Jeff home from school and my parents here for the birth and entire summer! Seeing how quickly I can focus on losing the weight. Having my two boys together and bonding. I'm actually not all that worried about Caderyn, I'm worried about me sharing my focus between two boys.

Weekly wisdom: It is hard but it is worth it.

Milestones: Jeff got to feel Baby G kicking. He kept his hand there and just smiled for most of the night. This week Baby G is around 8 inches long and just over a pound of cute little baby fat. Caderyn was a long baby and I think his brother will be long as well.

WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF?

2012-02-15T10:01:00.000-08:00

Hide ya kids! Hide ya wives!

HAPPY OVERRATED DAY OF LOVE

2012-02-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

Because that's what it is, right?
Why do we need just one day to celebrate the love in our lives?

In honor of this silly holiday, though, I did get Caderyn some treats and make him a tasty breakfast that we shared. He wasn't all that interested in it and I had to feed him most of it...that was romantic too.

Last year for Valentine's Day, Jeff was thousands of miles away at basic training and we weren't able to talk. I don't really remember what I did. I think Caderyn and I ate cupcakes and I might have drank some wine or something.

This year...I am without my love again. He is only 114 miles away in Missoula, though, and we are able to talk. So I guess it's a little better. He did send me a romantic text message telling me he loved me...and then he followed that with another one saying he wouldn't really be able to talk today because he was super busy with ROTC and school. Pshaw.

But that's okay. I don't need him to call me, gushing to me of his eternal love. About how he would give me the moon if he could and fight of a thousand dragons just to prove his commitment.
He showed his love for me by marrying me and joining life with me. By giving me children and loving them. He shows his love by working hard, harder than anyone I know and then making scary, but confident life changes like joining the military and going back to school for a Master's Degree.
Jeff's love is in his desire for improvement and to better himself, challenge himself, and to care for his family and want the best for them.

And I show my love by being patient with him...oh so very patient. Did I mention patience?

All photos were taken by my friend Lisa. If you like what you see click on her name, I've linked you.

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2012-02-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

Last night, I wanted to give my family a delicious dinner in honor of Valentine's Day.
So I made Tuscan Pasta with Tomato-Basil Cream Sauce. I didn't take a picture of it because it looked EXACTLY like the above picture and I was pretty pleased about that.
How to make it (and it's super easy!):
1. Go to the grocery store (duh!) and get: cheese ravioli, sun-dried tomato Alfredo sauce in a jar*, 2 tomatoes, some basil, and some white wine.
*my changes (because I'm awesome): I couldn't find any sun-dried tomato Alfredo sauce in a jar together so I just bought some Alfredo sauce and a jar of sun dried tomatoes. I chopped up the tomatoes and put them in the sauce. Voila! Also, I can't stand fresh basil right now- must be a pregnant thing- So I just added some dried basil and it tasted just as good.

2. In one cooking pot, fill with water and bring to a boil. Add raviolis and cook as directed.
3. In another cooking pot/ aka sauce pan, put sun-dried tomato Alfredo mixture. Add 2 tsp of white wine, 1 tsp of basil, and chop up two tomatoes and add to the sauce. Cook on medium for five minutes stirring occasionally.
4. When both are done, put raviolis in a large pasta bowl/ bowl/ plate and pour sauce over the top of the pasta.

It was super easy and SUPER good. I also served it with a salad with mixed berries and that was pretty tasty too!

For dessert, I made the "Too much chocolate cake!" but I modified it (because I'm awesome like that). I haven't really been in a chocolate mood lately, so I changed it and made the recipe with Funfetti cake mix. I think it tasted just as good!
1. Go to the store and get: 1 box of cake mix (I chose Funfetti), 1 large box of pudding mix (I chose vanilla), 1 cup of sour cream, 1/2 cup of vegetable oil, 1/2 cup of applesauce, 4 eggs, 1/2 cup of warm water.

2. At home, mix these all together nicely in your mixer and then pour into a nicely greased bundt pan (I love that word...bundt).

3. Put in your PREHEATED oven at 350 degrees for 50-55 minutes and take out when it is springy.

4. Let it cool, transfer it to a plate and frost to your liking. I made a vanilla buttercream frosting and then put red and pink sprinkles all over.

5. Take a picture before you eat it...because it's, like, devoured.

I'm definitely looking forward to the leftovers!!

THANK YOU MIMI AND PAPA...AND THAT DOG OF OURS

2012-02-13T06:27:00.000-08:00

Caderyn LOVES getting mail...like someone else I know (me).

He was very excited about his Valentine's Day treats:

The card

The M & Ms

The Cars coloring stand.

And now, another always-famous rendition of "That Lazy Corgi of Mine"

The second Jeff gets home, that Lazy Corgi of Mine is all up in his grill being cute and demanding.

That Lazy Corgi of Mine hopped up on this couch and didn't move for over three hours. She would do a pathetic growl if we got too close and disturbed her thoughts of squirrels, tennis balls and Cheerios on the floor.

This Lazy Corgi of Mine pouted like this most of Friday and Saturday because it snowed again- a lot. This makes her potty breaks difficult and chilly (if you know what I mean) and it also means she can't go for walks (Our area gets very slippery and they don't usually shovel).

While the snow fell, that Lazy Corgi of Mine sat on the step and looked sadly at her yard disappear yet again.

BABY G

2012-02-10T15:49:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gents, our new little boys name starts with a "G."
Gaagil (Native American) Resembling a raven.
Gabai (Hebrew) A delightful man.
Gabal (Arabian) From the mountains.
Gabbana (Italian) A creative man.
Garvey (Gaelic) A rough but peaceful man.
Gaylord (French) One who is high-spirited.

None of these are Baby G's namesake, but aren't names so interesting???
I love looking at the origin, the history and the meaning behind a name. I have ever since I was little.
When I was younger and more nerdy than I am now...if you can believe that...I used to check out baby name books from the library just to study the names and meanings. Sometimes I would try to create a family of names just based on the root of the names, so creating a family of Scandinavians. Odd, I know, but I'm sure my parents appreciated it because it kept me entertained for hours.

Off topic!
Back on track!

So when it came to choosing a name for our special little one who is due in only 20 weeks (it sounds so much closer when you say it like that) we thought long and hard about it.
Like Caderyn, we wanted our second child to have a name with meaning, with history and one they would appreciate.
If you're new to this reading zone, my first child's name is Caderyn James.
Caderyn is Welsh/ Scottish and is the root form of the word captain. If you were a soldier way back when and wearing a kilt, your commanding officer would have been called a Caderen (Kah-der-in). Say it with a short "a" and roll the "e" and the "r" a little if you can.
I can because I'm awesome.
Modify, modify, modify and years later, the name Caderyn evolved with the meaning "battle ruler" aka captain or ruler of the battle.
Pretty cool, huh!
We loved it. It was different and yet modern with a good touch of history.
We wanted the same for our new little one. This one will have a name that's a little more common, yet unique and very right in history of both the name and our families.

So what is it?
Well y'all will have to wait until he gets here.
This one will keep you on your toes :)

SOME OF THESE YOU'VE SEEN...

2012-02-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

But to trip you out a little, I'm going backwards.

Today I am 21 weeks...

10/11 weeks

4/5 weeks

How far along? 21 weeks

Weight gain/loss: None of your business.

Maternity clothes? Oh yes. But I did wear all NON maternity yesterday and today I am wearing two NON maternity shirts. I'm quite proud of this.

Stretch marks? Probably until the day I die. My fair skinned curse.

Sleep? A little better some nights. Last night, not so great. I had heart burn (dang those jalapenos I put on my pizza and little dude kept kicking my bladder). Plus Caderyn had a bad dream so I spent a few hours sleeping with him in his bed and he kept smacking me in the face.
Best moment this week? An awesome, awesome Sunday and Monday night of sleep. 9 plus hours both nights.

Food cravings: Cake pops (trying to be careful). Berries. Pizza.

Gender: Boy!

Belly button in or out? In. Never has gone out...

Movement? Last night I sat on the couch and watched my belly thump around a little. It makes me very happy.

What I miss? Sleeping on my stomach. Having a good beer every so often. Cute outfits/ feeling in shape.

What I'm looking forward to: Each passing month and getting closer. The whole summer off with my two boys and family! I haven't had a summer off in five years!

Weekly wisdom: This is just a moment in time.

Milestones: Actually feeling the thumps from the outside and seeing my belly move.

TEN RANDOM THINGS YOU'RE DYING TO KNOW ABOUT ME

2012-02-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

I'm about 110% sure on that title ;)

1. I refuse to watch any animal movies. They will make me cry and depressed for days. I watched a Lassie movie when I was in the fifth grade, the one where Lassie gets knocked out and you see the dogs unconscious body floating down a rapidly moving stream. Yeah. I had to leave the room to go and cry in my bed for like an hour. It just breaks my heart, even if its fake.

2. Brussel sprouts are the most disgusting vegetable I have ever eaten and will NEVER eat them again.

3. I have a day planner that sits on my desk at work and that thing is my LIFE.

4. I thought Madonna's Superbowl performance was really painful to watch. 1. She lip synched the entire thing AND 2. She tried way to hard to be cool and hip. Hello! You're Madonna, just do what you always do and it usually works. This, to me, just didn't and I will NOT be buying your new album, but rather will be replaying "Like a Virgin."

5. I have two freckles on my upper lip that have always made me really self conscious. If I could afford it, I would like to get them removed.

6. I love sending cards to people.

7. I am in control of the finances in our family and it stressesssssses me out to no end.

8. Other than writing, I really don't have a creative bone in my body. And that makes me sad.
9. I bite my lips when I'm anxious or concentrating (so all of the time) and now my lips are constantly in need to chap stick.

10. I want to visit all of the 50 states.

CADERYN GOES TO THE DENTIST

2012-02-08T06:01:00.000-08:00

Caderyn went to the dentist for the first time.

I wanted to make it a really good experience for him and overall I think he loved it.

10.

11.

1. Caderyn playing in the waiting room. He had lots of fun flirting with the ladies at the front. 2. Striking a pose for the dentist's camera. 3. Caderyn's identification picture. The front desk ladies loved it so much they printed out a copy. 4. Big boy sitting in the big chair. 5. "Hey, what the heck is this thing around my neck?"

6. Mr. Cool One 7. Mr. Cool Two 8. Getting all ready to have his teeth worked on. 9. Getting his teeth "tickled." 10. He was so good- the nurse let him pick out three prizes for his good behavior. 11. Chocolate toothpaste.

Some advice on what worked for Caderyn before going.

1. We didn't talk about it at all until the morning of.

2. I told him we were going to the dentist and that the dentist keeps our teeth happy.

3. I told him he had to smile nice and big for the dentist to they could see his teeth.

4. I told him the dentist was nice and that if he was good he would probably get a prize.

5. At the dentist I let him take his Pooh Bear blanket with him for comfort.

6. I was right there with him.

And the staff and dentist at the office were really awesome with him too so that helped a ton!

FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES

2012-02-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

Scene: This morning. I'm getting ready and picking up my room. Caderyn is starting to wake up and I can hear him over the monitor.
You can hear him stretch and make those morning time sleepy noises. Then silence.

And then he says:

"Cock-a-doodle-doo Caderyn, time to get up!" and out of bed he gets.

I probably laughed for ten minutes. We've been reading lots of books where you have to make noises like snoring noises or animal noises. Apparently, he picks up on things quite quickly!

On a side note, Lucy wakes up in the morning, takes a few steps away from her bed and then immediately does this:

Someone is SO lazy

BLUE, BLUE, BLUE

2012-02-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

Since we are having another sweet little boy in the W household, I'm actually quite content in the fact that we won't be needing all that much stuff.
We have the bed and the bedding and the clothes and the toys and pretty much everything we could possibly need. So that will save us a bundle right now (which is really what we need).

Some people have expressed concern over the fact that we might be disappointed to not be having a girl and getting that magical boy/girl combo. But to each person that says something like that, I just smile and tell them three things 1. After all this baby and I have been through together, I couldn't be happier 2. God knew that Caderyn really, really needs a little brother to play with because he's driving us crazy wanting/needing to play all of the time and 3. God also understood that at this moment in our lives, I could not have afforded a girl. I would have gone crazy with the shopping and all of the glitter and the tutus.
It's as easy as that. I now have "boys" instead of "a guy," I will have "two guys" "two buddys."
Jeff and I are unsure yet about the number we want our family to be, and to me, that says that we'll probably try again for baby #3 sometime in the far off future.
Right now, I'm happy with my boys. All three of them.
Plus, I will always have Lucy.

Moving on, so off the top of my head, there are really only four things I could possibly need right now before Little Mr. G arrives (his name starts with a G, we are not sharing until he is born though).

1. Car seat/ stroller combo: I like THIS one. Of all the reviews I looked at this one got the best reviews and looks pretty simple. The price is $185.99 and that is actually pretty good.

2. The B.O.B. double active stroller in navy. This is pretty expensive. This will run about $600-700 dollars, but you know I would use it ALL summer and fall. Like every day.

This recliner from Costco is $399.99 and I love it. I need a good and sturdy rocking chair to snuggle my boys in.

4. Diapers- sizes 1, 2, and 3 and as many frozen dinners or gift cards as possible.

Sounds pretty easy, right?

So now I just need to find a fabulous donor who can provide:

$200 for the car seat/ stroller combo

$700 for the B.O.B

$400 for the recliner

and that will total to about $1300.

Oye!

Someone throw me a baby shower! I don't need gifts, just lots of delicious food!

'SUP YO

2012-02-06T08:05:00.000-08:00

This is how Caderyn rolls in the backseat of our car.

He's too cool to use his hands to talk on the phone to his Papa.

LOOK AT THE COOKIE

2012-02-03T12:51:00.000-08:00

Don't look at me, I look like crap. Just look at the cookie. That's all that matters.

BURRITO BOY

2012-02-03T06:34:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago when we were snowed in under over a foot of snow, Caderyn and I were trying to ward off cabin fever.

In an effort to cure boredom and stay warm, I made myself a burrito.

He was very tasty.

Lucy thought so too.

A BOY AND HIS FATHER

2012-02-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

One thing is certain in this household.

With Jeff now gone to Missoula during the week, Caderyn latches on to him the second he walks in the door for the weekend.

They are buddies.

20 WEEKS AND COUNTING

2012-02-01T13:20:00.000-08:00

Since I've been sinus infectioned, I forgot to do a 19 week post.
So here is a 19 and 20 week post, COMBINED!

This baby moves, flutters, and thuds in my tummy a lot now!

I love it, this special time I get with the baby inside.

I feel like I'm carrying higher with this baby than I did with Caderyn.

Weight gain: Still feels like its all over.

I've also noticed that the bigger my belly gets, the bigger my hair is getting too. OYE. Today I looked like Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman, only with bigger hair and boobs and less pouty lips. Dang. Oh and all sinus infectiony.

Cravings: I can't taste anything right now, but lately I've noticed I've wanted a lot of casserole-like dishes. It's like if everything is mixed together it tastes good.

For fun:

Also for fun, some randoms from the iPhone titled: That Lazy Corgi of Mine

That Lazy Corgi of Mine went to the vet last week for shots. They said she is getting hefty. To that I say, "It's winter and the snow is above her head. You try taking her for a walk. She has to poop on the sidewalk!"

That Lazy Corgi of Mine has slept on my stomach most of my two sick days home. I like to think she's taking care of me, but part of me knows she's hogging the heated blanket I got for Christmas.

That Lazy Corgi of Mine messes up my bed after I've made it and doesn't even apologize.

Also, if you liked me enough to read this WHOLE post, please click here and vote that you like me. Because I'm awesome and who knows, maybe I'll be famous one day for rambling about lost sleep, snot or the books I read.

I LOVE ME A BRITISH ACCENT

2012-02-01T12:55:00.000-08:00

I am alive...but barely.
This sinus infection has just about destroyed me. Never, in all of my life, have I had so much snot. Gross? TMI? Probably. But it's true. But that's the good thing! All this snot that's been clogging up my sinuses is finally releasing its vengeful hold on my entire face and now unleashing it's fury upon my shnozz (aka: the nose). This morning I probably blew my nose for five straight minutes and used a half a roll of toilet paper.

OOOOKAY Enough with the snot topic. Sorry!

Whilst in my sinus infectioned agony, I discovered some amazing new television shows/ series.
For some reason, my sinus infectioned brain really wanted to watch all things British, so the first thing we (my brain, sinus infection, and I) decided to watch was a PBS Masterpiece Theater series called Downton Abbey.

I freaking loved it. It's like a delicious British soap opera from the early 1900s. It revolves around this one rich British family and their servants. I was super bummed it was only like seven episodes long, but they are all like an hour long. It was all British and proper but then there was all this random delicious gossipy stuff in it that made me want to squeal like an excited girl but then I'd remember my face was infectioned with the sinus and everything started to hurt again.

Then I moved on to Skins:

Again, I watched the British version, NOT the American one. I discovered that this is like all the way through five seasons now.

To be honest, the kids in this show are just awfully messed up and so are their parents. This is probably a good example of what happens when you're a bad parent...your kids will turn out like this. Each episode shows them causing lots of trouble, taking lots of drugs and alcohol and most of the time getting busy with each other (you know what I mean). I will say that I was captivated by all the disturbing-ness of each episode and was always surprised at how things ended. They do tend to push the limits on lots of topics, but I think that's why it has become so popular. Most of the time I just felt really bad for the obviously filthy teenagers who's only comfort in life was through pills or cocaine. Some of the episodes are funny and end really happy while others were shocking and very sad. I thought it was really interesting and obviously I couldn't stop watching it since I watched all five seasons straight through.

And then I watched Masterpiece Theater's Wuthering Heights

Now, I attempted to read this book for fun in high school and dropped it for Gone with the Wind instead, clearly an awesome choice. Although I do want to join a book club just so I can read this book and talk about it with people.

When I saw this under my instant Netflix choices labeled Romantic Movies, I thought, "Eh, sure why not. You don't have anything better to do."

So I started watching it.

Let me tell you, THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC MOVIE.

This is the most depressing, vengeful movie I have ever seen!

Their relationship is so twisted and hurtful towards each other and the people around them.

I was shocked. Loved it, but I was shocked.

I also thought the lady who played Cathy in this looked a bit cross-eyed at times and the guy who played Heathecliffe was sometimes really model-ly handsome at times and then really odd looking at other times.

After three hours of watching this I was spent.

Those Brits can sure captivate me.

WHAT I'VE READ/ AM READING

2012-01-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

So I'm home sick today with a wicked sinus infection. It prevents me from sleeping. The space between my eyebrows feels like I have a giant, pulsing horn emerging from it. I can't lie down because I can't breathe and I can't sit up because it hurts too much.
OYE!
So I have no interesting posts. We went to Missoula this weekend to see the Hubster and some of my family. It was lovely, we ate a lot of food. But I got sick and it is still lingering. Oh well. Next time will be better. I so love Missoula.
Anywhoooo. I've been doing a lot of reading still. I am that girl that now wakes up at 5:00 a.m. and is unable to go back to sleep so I usually read in bed until 6 or 6:30.
I did read through these two wonderful books:

These were large books but I was able to plow through both of them in about two weeks- one book per week. These are historical fiction and I love that.

There is also a third book, this:

But I'm taking a tiny break (aka, the Library doesn't have it in yet)

and I am currently reading this:

And I love it.

I love reading!

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST AND SOMETHING I KNOW I WILL LAUGH ABOUT LATER

2012-01-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

For his Grandparents this coming Valentine's Day, Caderyn (and by that, I mean mostly me) made these to be stuffed in their Valentine's Day cards:

Super easy! The only difference was that I put the "This much" on the other hand because I felt that made more sense. I'm excited!

Also, yesterday I made the mistake of telling my son we would be going to Missoula to visit Daddy and all of my aunts and uncles and grandparents who live there. Since those words of promise left my mouth, I have been asked probably every two minutes,

"Can we go to Missoula? Pwease? Pwease can we go to Missoula now?"

It hasn't stopped.

I severely regretted telling him around 2:00 a.m. when he woke up for the second time, wide awake, asking me if it was time to go to Missoula.

He proceeded to wake up and ask me every two hours on the got. I'm amazed.

I'm also super tired.

But I'm amazed.

I also think he takes after me in the excitement department...me.

I am that girl that couldn't sleep the night before something fun. Most Christmas Eve's I never slept and then was up around 4:00 a.m. to check if Santa came.

And now I've passed it on to my son...CURSES!

But at the same time, I enjoy hearing how excited and hopeful he is. It was the only thing that made me smile at 4:00 a.m.

I'm going to take a nap later.

Oh, and I have a zit the size of Jupiter on my chin.

It's awesome.

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2012-01-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

Last night for dinner I made this:

It is slow cooker chicken and dumplings.

Super easy!

Since it's just Caderyn and I eating together these days, I used two chicken breasts and only one can of cream of chicken. I did add a little bit of veggie stock, just for some more flavor.

2 T of butter

1/2c to 1 c of minced onions.

I added a little salt and pepper and some frozen corn into my mix.

Cover and cook on low for 6 hours.

Does anyone else have a crockpot that cooks like a demon?

I put this all together yesterday morning before work and I came home around 11am for lunch and it was already burning on my crockpot sides! This happens a ton, even when I stir it every hour or so. Hmmm!

So then once you're nearly ready to eat dinner, you open a can of biscuits and tear them all to pieces and add to the mixture. Cook on high for 30 minutes and serve.

It was a very hearty dinner and very easy. Not my most favorite, but it was yummy.

TEMPER, TEMPER

2012-01-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

So lately, I've been dealing with the terrible twos.
Lots of people have told me the second year was great for them, but it was the third year that really did them in.
Well, Caderyn's second year started off pretty good, but now, all of the sudden I have this little boy who resembles a midget of a teenager.
I'm constantly being told "No."
I'm constantly being bossed around.
I'm constantly listening to screams and cries from the time out spot.
Time out is a regular occurrence in our house. So is door slamming.
I'm constantly negotiating to get stuff done.
I can't go to the bathroom by myself or even have a moment without a little boy all up in my grill either whining about something or telling me I should be doing something else.

In a sense, I'm exhausted.

But that's what being a parent is all about, right?

I love that kid to death. He really is the sweetest little guy.
But yesterday, oh yesterday!
Yesterday he was in trouble nearly all day at daycare for hitting and throwing tantrums.
He's also started this thing where he won't budge when we need to go somewhere or I'm trying to redirect him. So, usually what I'll do is tell him he can walk on his own starting now or I'm going to count to three and when I get to three and he hasn't moved, I'm going to carry him.
I usually end up carrying him and he usually freaks out.
So yesterday, after talking to my daycare lady about his behavior, we walked outside and Caderyn put the breaks on. He wouldn't budge and after numerous attempts to get him walking I quietly told him he could walk on his own or I would carry him out after I counted to three.
I counted to three and got no movement so I picked him up and hauled him down the stairs all the way to the car with him kicking and screaming. I put him in his car seat where he proceeded to scream and kick and sound pretty much like a spawn of Satan.
We made it home, he still hadn't stopped and he went limp noodle on me when I was trying to get him inside so I took him right in and put him in time out.
I told him he needed to calm down and then we would talk about what was wrong.
While he screamed and cried and hit the wall with his hand, I grabbed one of my parenting books and tried to find something, anything that would help me out. We were on like day three of this behavior and my patience was very, very thin.
After ten minutes, he calmed down enough where I could talk to him. We climbed in to his bed together and had a calm talk about hitting and yelling and how that wasn't okay. I also asked him if he was acting like this because he missed his Daddy.
He told me yes and also that he missed me.
I told him I missed him too, but that Mommy had to work and Daddy was at school. But, even though I had to work, I always came to pick him up and we always went home together.

After our little chat and some snuggles, things were pretty good.
My friend came over and watched Caderyn for an hour so I could go to the gym- THANK YOU!
Got back from the gym and Caderyn started acting like a demon child again. He wanted me to hold him.
This is fine, except my back has been killing me so I tried sitting down and holding him and he threw a huge fit over that.
I was kind of embarrassed at his behavior in front of my friend, when he'd been so good only two seconds before.
So I said goodbye to my friend above Caderyn's screams and commands.
Inside I went and into his room to start getting him ready for a tub.
More screams and body throws ensued when he told me he didn't want a tub.
I ignored this and continued to undress him, well then he hauled off and hit me in the face.

I saw red.
I had to take a few deep breaths and then I did something I'm not proud of and really try very hard not to do.
I swatted him on the butt. My disappointment in myself was over the "hitting for hitting" punishment, which I don't think shows them anything.

But I am human. I make mistakes.
So Caderyn was in timeout again and I had to shut the door to his room to block out some of his awful screams and shouts.
I sat down at our table and texted my husband, "Pretty sure I'm the worst mom ever and will ruin our kids."
My bottom lip was quivering and I was having a really great pity party while listening to my sons Gollum-like shrieks. But then he calmed down and I mentally slapped myself in the face.
"Buck up Sarah," I said, "Keep this kid moving through life."
One day isn't going to scar him. Although I might feel that I've ruined him, I probably haven't. One little spanking isn't going to hurt him and he eventually has to learn that his behavior is not acceptable.
It is not okay to hit.
It is not okay to scream.
It is not okay to boss Mommy around (sometimes it is, but not like he's doing).

And the only way he's going to learn this is through me. I am his number one educator and I need to show him in a calm, collected manner how to navigate this world.
So after a quick tub and a tooth brush, Caderyn and I settled into his bed with some books. I stroked his cheek and told him I loved him. We talked about being frustrated and that it was okay to get upset sometimes. I told him I was sorry for spanking him, and he said he was sorry for being naughty (again, where is he learning these words! I NEVER tell him he is naughty.).
"Caderyn," I said. "You're not naughty at all. I think you're just frustrated and don't know how to tell Mommy what is wrong."
"Mmmmm yes," he said.

After books were read and kisses were given, I stayed in his room with him until he fell asleep. I kissed his cheeks and rubbed his back, trying in some physical way to show him that everything was okay. That we were okay. That he would be okay.

He slept through the night last night...first time in...probably a month.
He did get up at 5:00 a.m. and crawl in to bed with me until 6:00 a.m.
We had a good morning.
There was no screaming, only a minimum of bossiness and lots of snuggles.
He and I sat on the couch together this morning and talked again about being frustrated and how we don't hit or yell, taking our frustrations out on other people.
Caderyn again told me, "But I miss you."
I replied, "I miss you too when I'm at work, but you know I always will come to get you at the end of the day."

"Yes and that makes me so happy!" he said.

It makes me happy too.

Lord if I can only survive these terrible twos!

THIS IS FUN

2012-01-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

I've tried to be really faithful about taking a weekly belly photo. I didn't do that with Caderyn and I regret missing out on those moments.

For your viewing pleasure, the ever growing belly! I'm missing a few weeks. The early ones because of all the crazy that happened there and then one or two weeks in between my now almost 19 week mark.

The day we found out we were pregnant. 4 weeks.

And then all that crazy stuff happened so there is a lull here.

11 weeks

12 weeks

14 weeks

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks

Isn't it funny how different clothes make the bump look bigger or smaller???

Oh and just for comparison fun. Here is my bump at 18 weeks with Caderyn:

AND NOW

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2012-01-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

I've been pinning like crazy. I still get a really odd satisfaction when someone new starts following me or repins something of mine. I want to do the crazy person laugh.

This weekend, my toddler was driving me bonkers. He was sick and restless. So I grabbed some finger paint and shaving cream and we had ourselves a shaving cream painting party. Caderyn was really in to the paining part of it for about 20 minutes, but then he thought it was more fun to put all of the shaving cream into a bowl of water and see the colors mix. Make sure your paint is washable. The mess was catastrophic when he was finished, but it only looked that way. It probably took me two minutes to clean everything up. Not bad at all.

I found this idea here

Last weekend, I made these:

Cake batter bars

I followed the directions exactly, no substitutions. These turned out really yummy, the only thing I might suggest is not cooking them in your Pyrex glassware. It distorted the shape a little on mine. They still tasted really good though!

MY WEEKEND IN REVIEW

2012-01-23T09:31:00.000-08:00

Thank you iPhone. I love you...in a non-weird kind of way.
Kind of a bummer of a weekend. Caderyn was sick and then I got sick.
Thank heavens Jeff was home or I would have lost it!
Friday, Jeff surprised us by getting home early! We ran some errands and then had dinner at Costco before renting a movie and going home.
Saturday Caderyn went to the doctor, I slept for three straight hours to get rid of my yuckies. We ate pizza again and then met some friends at a basketball game.
Sunday I made breakfast. We gracefully bowed out of church due to the sickness in our family and just lounged at home all day. I ran a few errands, made a yummy dinner, Jeff headed back to Missoula and I fought my poor coughing child all night trying to get him to fall asleep.

Breathing treatments galore

Shaving cream painting!

Snarky dog

Lazy dog waiting for the ball to come to her.

BATTLING THE FEVER

2012-01-21T07:36:00.000-08:00

I think most parents out there would agree that there is nothing worse than having a sick child.
And the worst is when they have a fever.
Those fevers are scary.
We've only had one fever that has ended us up in the hospital, and that was when Caderyn had RSV at 5 weeks old. We ended up staying in the hospital with him for a week.
Since then, Caderyn has been pretty good with the fevers, its mostly just been his ears that have been making him sick.

Well last night we encountered the EVIL fever. The one that is high and makes you think you might, just might need to take your child to the emergency room. I don't know what other people think, but my idea of a fever that needs to be seen by a doctor is 104. If it reaches 104, we go in right away.
Caderyn's highest temp last night was 103.8 and I just about lost it. He'd had a pretty high one all day, hovering between 101 and 103, but his energy levels were really good and he took fluids like a champ and was able to, you know, get rid of them.
So when his fever went up just those little extra points last night, I was nearly in full on panic mode.
We did cool baths- at least three last night. We did Tylenol. We did minimal activity- it was a movie night. We did cool wash cloths. We gave him copious amounts of water.
Nothing worked.
That is the scariest thing. That you work and work for hours to try and get this fever on track and it only stays right where it is.
So finally we just put him to bed. Poor guy was sweating so badly he didn't sleep well at all. He woke up around midnight just drenched in sweat.
But, at this point, we realized his cheeks and forehead were cool. We took a quick temp and found his fever was down to about 101. A huge sigh of relief!

Today we are going to the doctor. Hopefully he just caught some bug that was going around.
I despise the fevers more than anything else in the world- even more than explosive poopy diapers!

These are just some of my experiences with the dreaded fever. As you can see, sometimes what we try to do works and other times it doesn't. What does everyone else do to keep their childrens' fevers at bay?

SNOW

2012-01-20T08:46:00.000-08:00

Simple title. Simple post.

We got dumped on here. This was just yesterday. It snowed up to the bottom of chairs. My bumper on my Subaru was nearly covered and I have snow all the way up to my knees.

Winter is here!

We've been hanging low trying to stay warm and prevent anything from freezing!

GO TO SLEEP

2012-01-18T09:22:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I'm just one of about a bazillion Moms to say this:

We have been struggling with bed time lately.

Makes me think of this

Oh it is just SO frustrating!

Caderyn got a big boy bed from his grandparents for Christmas and he has actually been doing really well with it. The only thing is he won't go to sleep until sometimes almost 11:00 p.m.

YEAH! WOW.

Some nights I find myself going in to his room three or four times a night. He either gets out of his bed and comes out to find me or he cries and cries until I go in there.

I don't really mind going in there, I love that he finds comfort in my presence, but I just really wish he would go to sleep and get more rest.

He is starting to get into the "I'm scared" and imaginative phase.

I always try to tell him he is safe, that I'm right here and that monsters aren't real.

He also sometimes wakes up in the middle in the night from a nightmare where there is a bear or a cat chasing him. I find this odd because some of my most terrifying nightmares from when I was little and still today involve bears.

Just so we're clear on this. I'm absolutely terrified of bears. I can't even stand to be near them at the zoo. I pretty much start to have a freak out attack.

It worries me to think that my two-year-old has such vivid dreams and nightmares. There were some nights where I prolonged going to sleep, just to prevent another scary bear dream from happening.

I hope with all of my heart that Caderyn doesn't have dreams like this.

But, going back to the bed time thing. Yeah. So it's a little frustrating. Some nights he's great, other nights he's not and I want to pull my hair out.

Yesterday, I was determined to tire him out so he would sleep well.

I took him to the Science Center and we met up with a friend.

Those two kids played and played until the place closed.

Caderyn proceeded to throw a thirty minute temper tantrum once we left.

He did kick and scream a lot, but man, I got him ready for bed faster than ever! I just plopped his screaming little body into the tub, scrubbed him really good, got him in his pjs while he was still crying and kicking (be impressed) and snuggled him on the couch where he finally calmed down.

All of this without breaking a sweat or losing my cool.

He and I snuggled on the couch, ate a little bowl of cereal and brushed our teeth.

Then we went into his room and read some stories before kisses and good night.

I only had to go in there once last night and it was because he had picked a scab and it started bleeding. Band Aid took care of that.

Not wanting to head back out to the pile of laundry I was folding, I hopped in to bed with him. That's the nice thing about this new bed. It's super comfy and Mommy or Daddy can fit on it with Caderyn.

So we snugged together. I rubbed his back and tickled his face and neck (my family loves the tickles) and then Caderyn proceeded to do the same to my face.

My heart melted.

He was getting drowsy at this point (HUZZAH!) but he looked at me and said, "Mommy, are you happy?"

To which I replied," Yes Caderyn, very happy."

"Oh good," he said. "Me too."

And he was out like a light.

It was just like a Hollywood movie and I just loved it. That little boy sure is something special to me, even if he sometimes doesn't go to sleep until 11:00 p.m. at night and then gets up at 5:00 a.m.

No matter how many times I have to go in to his room at night, whether its to give him more water, calm his fears or tuck him back into bed, I will always be happy to do it.

I may not be outwardly happy...especially at 3:00 a.m.

But internally I'm singing praise that he still needs me and trusts in me to take care of him and solve all of his problems.

He won't let me do that forever, but I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

17 WEEKS AND COUNTING

2012-01-17T09:27:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gents, we are a mere three weeks away from finding out the gender of this little one.

I'm excited.

I got the okay from my doctor to workout. By "working out" she means I can walk on the treadmill and do arm strength training. I do what I can when I can and it feels so good to move!

Weight gain has been all over with this baby. I attribute that to not being able to do anything for like three months, but I can just see it everywhere. I do think my belly is smaller now that it was at this time with Caderyn. My legs are definitely bigger.

My cravings this past week were pizza-- always pizza-- and Sweetarts. You bet I got those and enjoyed them. I am still crazy for water. I just can't get enough water.

My sleep with this pregnancy hasn't been very good. I usually go to bed around 11:00 p.m. and can stay asleep until 3:45 a.m. or 4:00 a.m. if there are no interruptions from Caderyn. But once I wake up, oh I'm in pain! My abdominal area and hips just ache and I can never get comfortable. So I usually don't go back to sleep and I end up reading. That, my friends, is how I am able to get through some of these books so quickly! I read until 6ish or until Caderyn wakes up and comes into my room and then start to get ready for the day ahead of us.

Compared to my first pregnancy, I have no energy. But I still do manage to get stuff done, keep my house semi-clean and occasionally remember to bathe my son :)

We find out what the baby is on the third of February. I'm still trying to think of a creative way to tell people, but, alas, creativity is eluding me these days.

So if you have any good ideas, please let me know.

I still think we're having a girl.

Either way I will be over the moon, but my gut just tells me girl.

We'll see how my intuition goes- I got it right with Caderyn.

THE LIFE OF A DOG

2012-01-16T15:49:00.000-08:00

Looks pretty cushy, huh?

AH YES

2012-01-13T06:55:00.000-08:00

This is what my after work wardrobe looks like these days.

A t-shirt. The belly. My awesome new pajama pants that are super pink and super warm and my new mucklucks.

All of these combined make me super happy!

YES, THIS IS A MESS

2012-01-12T11:23:00.000-08:00

And this is what my house looks like after a vacation.

Crap everywhere.

Home today. Caderyn has pink eye. Maybe I will finally put a dent in EVERYTHING!

MY REVIEW OF SEX AND THE CITY 2

2012-01-11T14:17:00.000-08:00

Last night, I sat down to watch Sex and the City 2.
For some reason, I was compelled to put it on my Netflix.
As I watched it, I was hit with some startling aggravations.
Man. This movie really sucks.

Sure, it revisits some of our favorite TV characters who so many people think they relate to, but in reality, these women are on a completely different planet than 99% of all women in the world.
I mean, I guess it's fun to watch them and see their antics, the places they get to go, the extravagances, the fashion (which was pretty crappy i think- although I'm more of a Miranda/Charlotte dresser these days).
But the more I watched the show, the more frustrated I became at the antics, the places they go, the extravagances and the fashion.
My reasoning's:

1. The antics.
These are grown women. Act like it! I point mainly to the Samantha character, who, in typical Samantha fashion gets in trouble because of an overzealous sex drive. But I watched in horror as she made Americans- or, American women- look like sluts. I was embarrassed that she was depicted as being joyful that America is awesome because you can be intimate with a man on a beach. But of course, this is fantasy, and that is Samantha, but something about that depiction bothered me. It made me feel...bad. Like, is that how our country is seen? As a place where you can be with a guy wherever and whenever you want. I'm not trying to put women with a Samantha mentality down, that's just fine if that's how you roll, but have some decency and maintain some level of privacy. Don't share it with the world.

Another thing that really bothered me was when Charlotte and Miranda sat down at the bar to talk about how hard motherhood was. Now, granted, they both admitted they had full-time nannies/help and didn't know how other people did it. But, I go back to the fact that they had full-time help. Who does that? Who would want that? I understand if you're working full-time and maybe have a job that is so important you're needed around the clock and making biggo bucks, but I'm working full-time and I still have to go home and be the wife, the mother and the house keeper. No help. I'm pretty sure everyone else out there does it to, so what gives these women the right to sit there, sip their alcoholic pink drinks and tell me how hard it is to be a mom and a wife?

One other thing that bothered me was when Charlotte got mad at her daughter for getting red paint on her vintage skirt. I admit, I gasped. That was a lovely skirt. But why would she be wearing something so valuable and precious while baking and at home? I rarely wear nice, expensive clothes when I'm at home. Typical jeans, t-shirt and sweat pants gal. Now, if I'm going out of the house. I am usually the last one to get dressed and all food and crafts have been put away so I can go to work looking fairly put together (doesn't always happen, but I try).

2. The places they go.
Actually, I wasn't really all that frustrated with this. I was just annoyed at how extravagant everything seemed. Like, have they ever stayed at a Holiday Inn? Those are okay too and very cost effective.

3. The extravagances
Again, reality check. Sure, it's fun to dream that one day you will live in a New York penthouse where your husband buys you a black diamond after you kiss another man, but, seriously? I felt that all of the stuff these women had handed to them was just another example of how materialistic America actually is. Now- Big's first anniversary gift to Carrie- the "TV so they could watch old movies together" was actually really sweet and thoughtful. But she threw that one to the curb. I think this also distorts some people's ideas of marriage and relationships. None of their relationships are perfect, but I just kept getting so annoyed at how nothing, nothing at all would ever go like that in the real world. It was all just so...cheesy. Hollywood.

4. The fashion
I rolled my eyes at the end when the Abu Dabi women unrobed themselves showing off the latest Louis Vutton fashions. Seriously? Is that all we care about is fashion? There are starving children, abuse, murder and corruption and all these women are portrayed as caring about is fashion? I wanted to vomit. Now, I did enjoy some of the styles, but fashion isn't my focus in life. Others may feel differently and that's great! If you have the passion for fashion- go for it! But I would much rather focus on my family, being happy in life and working on being a better person that spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on clothes. I enjoy the beautifulness of clothes and admire the work it takes to put together a fabulous collection, but do I have to own it? No.

I'm not trying to put Sex and the City down. I own all six seasons! I watch them, usually once or twice a year on a weekend when I'm sick or have the whole weekend to myself. I always cry during the episode where Miranda's mom dies, I laugh over Charlotte getting her face licked by the "bad kisser" and I am so angry at Carrie when she loses Aidan.

But, this movie just really rubbed me the wrong way. And since this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want, I wanted to write about that. It's been bugging me most of the day.
But, I will close with my favorite, favorite quote

"No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends." C.B.

True for all forms of relationships.

TRAIN ADDICTION

2012-01-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

Someone got a train table for Christmas from Santa.

Since then, his train addiction has gone through the roof.

THIS GUY...

2012-01-09T14:50:00.000-08:00

Actually sat still long enough for me to take a picture!

This guy:

His name is Caderyn

He is two years and ten months old- crazy!

He NEVER stops talking. E.V.E.R.

He still loves trucks, trains, planes and any kind of rescue machine.

He loves watching movies and snuggling.

He loves playing with trains.

He loves reading.

He is learning letters and can recognize an 'E' and an 'S'

(which is pretty good considering we only started last week)

Can back talk like a champion.

Hates time out after back talking.

Has a temper.

Has a sweet, sweet side.

Just wants people to play cars or trains with him all day long.

Loves to dance and jump and run.

Sat through church for the first time on Sunday without barely a complaint

(we did leave after communion, but that was because I didn't want to push my luck)

Says the funniest things, like, "Mommy, I'm a chicken and I pooped an egg."

That little snippet was from this morning.

Still loves his Pooh Bear blankie.

Is sleeping in a big boy bed.

Still doesn't want to potty train.

Loves his great-grandparents and grandparents with all of his heart.

Enjoyed Christmas to the fullest extent this year.

Has hair that won't stay down even after minute upon minute of brushing.

Still loves waffles with peanut butter.

Stalls his bed time by asking to snuggle (who can say no to that?)

Sometimes thinks he is a dinosaur.

And that is my guy.

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2012-01-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

I loved how this mom incorporated so many veggies into something that sounded so yummy. I'm not a huge veggie fan, but each of her meals sounded so good.

So, before Christmas, I made each one of these recipes and froze them in my freezer as directed.
Yesterday, I pulled out the BBQ Chicken one and let in thaw a little while we were at church.
Then I threw it in my crock pot on high until 6:00 p.m. and splashed a little vegetable broth over it.
I served it over brown rice and thought it tasted SO yummy! It did need a little extra dash of salt and pepper.

My thoughts- don't cook on high past hour 4. It did get a smidge on the mushy side. The prep time took forever with all of the cutting and storing, but its totally worth it. Just make sure you have enough time to get it all done. I would suggest like an hour free of interruptions.

And for dessert I made this:

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bread.

So good and so easy! As some of you probably know, I'm a big fan of altering recipes. This one was not intentional though. I went to add the chocolate chips (my favorite additive in the whole wide world!) and found I only had white chocolate chips. So I added those. Good news! It still tastes just as good!

BOOKS I'VE READ AND WHAT I'M READING

2012-01-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

In case you're interested...

What I've Read (Since December 12- Present):

First Book

Read this and loved it. Odd, yes, but very interesting.

Second Book

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

Third Book

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Third Book

LOVE LOVE LOVE. Sad book, but still LOVE it.

And if you're still interested, here is what I am currently reading:

And here is my on-deck book:

Any other good books you want to throw my way????

FRAZZLEDAZZLE

2012-01-06T09:43:00.000-08:00

This morning started off rough.
I stayed up super late last night finishing my book. I just couldn't put it down and before I knew what I was doing I was on the last page and it was 12:30 a.m.
My sleep wasn't restful and Caderyn had fitful dreams that kept waking me up because he would call out my name in his sleep.
Then he woke up gagging and saying his tummy hurt. My eyes were barely open.
Shortly after that he pooped and it was liquid and went EVERYWHERE. Oh lord. Vomit I can handle, but poop that leaks everywhere and sticks just makes me sick.
So I quickly undressed him as best I could without getting poop everywhere and plopped him in the tub while I proceeded to start laundry and scrub and scrub the poop spots.
Caderyn took this moment to throw a tantrum- probably because I wasn't paying attention to him while he wasn't feeling all that great- and threw his tub toys still in the bucket out of the tub getting toys and water everywhere. All the while screaming at me.
I lost my cool, I admit.
So did he.
There was a bottom swat involved and then an extended period in time out.
Then there was some arguing about him picking up the toys that he threw, which he refused to do, so I picked them up and took the toys away for the weekend.
He sat in time out again because of his reaction to losing the toys which continued until I finally just decided to put him back in his bed, turn out the lights and shut the door.
After five minutes, I was able to get semi-ready for work and reflect on what had happened. Caderyn's crying had subsided.
I walked into the room and immediately scooped him up.
I apologized for losing my temper and I told him I loved him. I rocked him, kissed his head and rubbed his back.
He said he was sorry. He was frustrated. A two-year-old frustrated?
My heart ached.
Usually Caderyn is so happy when he wakes up and we talk and talk all morning.
Why was this morning so different?
Part of me thinks it was the poop. That must have put us both in a bad mood. That poop would have put anybody in a bad mood!
But another part of me thinks Caderyn was lashing out for his Daddy being gone. I think he misses him and knows that something isn't quite right in our house.

Sidenote: My husband moved an hour and a half away this week to start going to school full-time for a Master's in Business Administration and become an officer in ROTC. We support him one hundred percent, but we miss him very, very much during the week.
As I've thought about my morning some more, I always find myself so amazed at just how perceptive my
little man is.

He misses his Dad and so does Mommy. He senses the loneliness and he himself probably feels lonely.

But the good news is that Jeff will be home from school this weekend. He does have to drill during the days, but I know Caderyn will be particularly happy to see him tonight. There will be lots of snuggling, kissing and train playing involved.
This morning was just another challenge thrown my way. I am now taking time to reflect on how I acted and how Caderyn reacted (both were unfavorable) and mentally reconstruct how I need to handle a situation like that in the future.
There will be plenty more temper tantrums. There will be plenty more chances for me to lose my cool.
But it will never go the same way again.
I am certain about that.
It's always nice to know you can have another chance to better yourself with each new morning.

ODDITIES

2012-01-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant with Caderyn, I never had weird cravings.
Sure, I had cravings (um, hello! Cupcakes and Mexican food), but nothing that was odd like dipping a pickle in peanut butter.

But with this little babe, it's weird.
It's like I want something, but I don't quite know what it is.
I still want pizza like all of the time. But I also want veggies and fruit and cereal and water. Oh lord! One woman simply can't get enough water. I don't really want sweets. I treated myself to a blizzard after my doctor's appointment yesterday and only ate about half of it before I felt sick. Sick I tell you! This is a momentous occasion because I DO NOT let ice cream go to waste. My grandpas would surely disown me.
So last night, Caderyn was in bed and my house was semi-clean and I was hungry. But I didn't know what I wanted. So I rifled through my cupboards, considered making a grilled cheese. Considered making rice. Considered ordering pizza and then remembered we're pretty broke and I shouldn't be doing that anymore. So then I grabbed a bag of sea salted veggie chips. I paused. Then I grabbed some applesauce.
And you know what I did?
I sat on my couch and dipped every single one of those sea salted veggie chips into my applesauce.
And it tasted soooooooooo goooooooooooood.
Who would have thought?

CHRISTMAS AT THE CABIN 2011: THE CHRISTMAS TREE EDITION

2012-01-04T19:20:00.000-08:00

We alternate Christmas every year between the families. This year it was Jeff's year to be with his family and we spent our first ever Christmas up at his parents' new cabin. We shall for now call it "The Windy Vista."
Nestled at the base of a mountain and overlooking prairie and grazing fields sits this secluded gem. Twenty miles from the nearest town (I think) we do nothing but lounge and play up there. If the wind doesn't knock your socks off, you can take out the ATVs, look for game, shoot bee bee guns at targets or watch the glorious sunsets and sunrises.
This trip involved lots of lounging, eating, game playing and talking. But mostly eating on my part.
Here are my pictures from Christmas Eve. I'm hoping to get a few more pictures from family to add to my "Christmas 2011 Extravaganza!"

A very pretty tree and lots and lots of lounging!

Baby Update

2012-01-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

I am still pregnant and growing by the minute (or at least it feel that way).

I had another doctor's appointment today. I will be 16 weeks tomorrow.
Good things:
Baby's heart and baby are healthy and moving!
I am fairly healthy.
My doctor told me I could start walking a little but that is all. Hey- I'll take any exercise over no exercise!

Bad things:
Can't be *ahem* intimate *ahem*
Still have placenta previa (boo).

Can't do anything about it until 20 weeks when I have my ultrasound. Oh well.

RANDOM REDHEAD

2012-01-04T10:03:00.000-08:00

I still haven't had time to upload my Christmas pictures yet. Sorry.
I meant to do it last night...and then I watched Love and Other Drugs and then I started reading. And we all know I'm done with everything once I pick up a book. Especially if it's a good one.
So, I will try and do my pictures tonight.
But for now, here are some randoms in our lives.

15 weeks. My butt and belly are about the same size right now.

I saw this on Pinterest, pinned it and then decided that Caderyn and I are going to make it tonight.

It is chocolate chip oatmeal bread and I'm drooling just thinking about how yummy this will taste.

Link here

Caderyn got this bed from his grandparents for Christmas.

Except instead of the espresso, we got it in navy and I love it.

It is huge though! He looks so little in it.

Oh and me, being the great mom that I am, ordered his mattress and box spring too late and so now we have to wait until next week for them to arrive.

So, again, me being the great mom that I am, I have his old crib mattress and then every single pillow and blanket in our house on that bed for his comfort and safety (because I built a barrier wall out of pillows).

It's working out okay except he gets out of the bed 5-7 times a night before he finally stays in there.

Little stinker.

Now my biggest challenge is bedding. I want something fun, affordable and long lasting.

Any suggestions?

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

2012-01-03T13:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't been all that big on resolutions. I seem to have pretty high standards for myself already and I can usually stick to them pretty darn good (helllloooo I did lose all of my 70 pound baby weight from my first child! All of it and then some).

But this year, this year seemed like a really good year to make a few resolutions and stick with them.

Resolution #1:
Make the most of our situation.

What is our situation? Well my husband has officially quit his job at the newspaper and returned to grad school full time. This is scary for a number of reasons: 1. We are apart 2. We are living off of one income 3. I'm pregnant and only getting fatter.

With those scary reasons being said, I couldn't be more proud of my husband. His previous job was not good. He wasn't going anywhere and the paper he worked at was really struggling. He wasn't happy in his job AT ALL. It takes a lot of guts for someone to do what he is doing. I support him 100% in everything he does because he is always such a hard worker and has nothing but good intentions for our family. Onward and upward!

Resolution #2:
To stay positive no matter what.

See the above explanation for Resolution #1

Resolution #3:
To go to church more

I am a religious person, but not enough to share it on my blog in verses or comparisons. I think my relationship with God is more private than sharing online. But, I have noticed how I miss having a special connection that I only seem to get at church. Therefore, I will try and go to church every Sunday with Caderyn or without him (sometimes a girls just gotta go alone).

Resolution #4:
To read more.

No problem here. Since Christmas break I have already plowed through three books. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer, The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and last night I started the third and final book of The Hunger Games series, Mockingjay. Once this book is finished I plan on heading to the good ole' library and stocking up on some more good reads.

Resolution #5:
Spend more time with Caderyn

I find that too often I leave him to play by himself while I work on a house project like cleaning or organizing. This all can wait until after his bed time. He and I need to read more, cook together and color lots and lots of pictures. He will be my only child for only a few more months and I want to soak up every second I can with him, just him.

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!

2012-01-03T09:13:00.000-08:00

Well hello there! Did you miss me?
I've been off the radar for some time. Let me explain.
You see this thing called the holidays rolled into town and with that, we left town.
We've been all over Montana. Missoula, Helena, White Sulphur and Great Falls.
It was so much fun, but I'm very glad to be home!

On a very happy note. I GOT A NEW CAMERA FOR CHRISTMAS!
On a poop note: I haven't had a chance to upload the program for it on to my computer yet.
So, y'all will have to wait and deal with my iPhone photos from the break. Most of which contain my dog.

1. A very content little boy on Christmas day watching a new Thomas the Train movie.

2. Playing with a new train set from Santa.

3. Trying to get Lucy off of my bed at the Grandparents on New Years.

4. The New Years aftermath.

5. This dog got SO spoiled over the break. She was snuggled and walked and very loved.

Random Redhead

2011-12-19T12:35:00.000-08:00

Nothing amazing today peeps. I've got work to finish and an Ugly Sweater Party to host.

Today you'll get the usual "these are the spectabulous pictures on my iPhone."

A food post? You bet. The common, go-to meal with me is breakfast for dinner. Some nights its just too hard to think about making some great and grand culinary feast that the boys probably won't like anyways. So last night was one of those nights and I actually made homemade waffles with sausage and strawberries. Not gonna lie. They were suuuuuuuper goooooood.

And now for your viewing enjoyment, here are are series of photos I shall title: That Lazy Corgi of Mine

Photo 1: That Lazy Corgi of Mine refuses to move from her father's side of the bed. Gives evil stare instead.

Photo 2: That Lazy Corgi of Mine pretends she doesn't hear me hollering at her to get off the couch. She instead rolls on to her back and falls asleep.

Photo 3: That Lazy Corgi of Mine stole my spot on the couch. If you look closely, it appears that she is clinging to that spot for dear life. Well, it's true. She was. I couldn't get her to let go of that blanket or that spot all night.

Lazy Corgi.

BUY BOOKS NOT NOOKS!

2011-12-17T17:10:00.000-08:00

After I accomplish something big, I sometimes like to give myself a little reward.
For example, when I took my final on Monday and knew I'd done a great job, I scheduled a prenatal massage. When I graduated from college in 2007, I got married. No big deal :)

So this whole "taking it easy and bed rest most of the time" thing just really isn't my cup of tea. I like to be active. I like to workout and I HATE sitting still. I'm the most antsy, fidgety person if I have to sit still for too long.
But, Dr's orders this time. And, I do notice how tired my body is. For example, yesterday I took Caderyn to Costco and Target. I was careful and slow and really tried to listen to my body. Boy did I get sore quickly and my energy level went down so fast. I promptly came home, put the little guy to bed and camped out on the couch. This placenta previa thing is exhausting and really uncomfortable. I find myself napping at least once a day and I'm constantly thirsty, thirsty, thirsty!
Such a difference in pregnancies. With Caderyn, I had energy for miles and then collapsed into bed at night. This one is tiring all day. Whew!
So, anywhoooo, the point of my story is that since this has been going on and I've been confined to my house so much, I decided I needed to give myself a little reward for trying to take care of my body and baby. I would be doing this anyway, but of course, now it is of extreme importance.
Well yesterday this gal bought herself a new book to read. Y'all know I love to read. This semester I haven't really been able to read for fun because of school and everything else that's been going on.
(Ok. This isn't true. I read World War Z two weeks ago- but that was more of the "I'm so done with school and I just don't care anymore," rebellion and whining.)
I bought Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. Just saying it makes me laugh, but I started it today and I'm already very intrigued. I heard it was really good! On deck is that next book in the Diana Gabaldon series I've been reading...I think it is The Fiery Cross. Hopefully that will get me through Christmas and I'll have gotten some of new books I asked for. I'm not a Kindle kind of girl. I love the way a book feels in my hands, the smell of new or old pages and the sound of a page turning as you come one step closer to the end or go just a little further into the story. One day (in my dreams), I will have a sitting room/library filled with books upon books. Ahhh that sounds delicious, doesn't it?
Happy reading!

FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES

2011-12-16T17:10:00.001-08:00

Still not making much ground in the potty training department, Caderyn is over by the couch, grunting.

Me: Caderyn are you pooping?
Caderyn: No. Nothing.
Me: Caderyn! Are you pooping?
Caderyn: No. I'm taking a nap.

Interesting. I don't know many people that can poop in their sleep.

WANT TO SEE SOMETHING REALLY SUPER CUTE?

2011-12-16T10:32:00.000-08:00

Our baby's butt, legs and toes. Look at those little feetsies!

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

2011-12-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

Just another Corgi thinking she owns her mom's side of the bed.

When I tried to move her she gave me a "I'm tough" growl.

Sheesh...what a B(I won't say the rest of this word, but I'm sure you all know it).

A CONFESSION AND THURSDAY THREADS

2011-12-15T10:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I get an email update telling me someone new is following me on Pinterest, I want to use my best Gollum voice and say, "Yes, yes. Follow me my precious."

Also, I'm not feeling too terribly well today.
My body hurts and I've had a migraine that kept making me puke most of the night (1:30 a.m. and 4:15 a.m. it was greeeeeeat).
But enough whine...I don't have any cheese to go with it...eh, eh? You get it? :)

Here is a really lame Thursday Threads post. But I figured it's better than nothing.

This was taken from my iPhone before we went to my work Christmas Party.

I got this dress last year from DownEast Basics

I love this store. It is very affordable and the clothes are so comfy. I think this dress was only $40.

I can't find it online anymore and I know the picture isn't that great so I will describe it for you.

It is a deep chocolate color with the wrinkle ruching. Funny story. I put the dress on and Jeff says,"I think you really need to iron that dress before you wear it out." But silly Jeffrey! That's how the dress is supposed to look. It has a belt that ties around the waist and then the shoulders through the collarbone area is all done in chocolate colored sequins.

Very pretty!

My shoes were a nude Steve Madden heel that I got for $25 at Dillards in an after Christmas sale.

I wore gold earrings from Silpada and some bangles I got from Express.

I got tons of compliments from co-workers on my dress and the bump so I think the overall look was a success!!

P.S. Look how awesome my tree star looks in the background.

BUT ON A POSITIVE NOTE

2011-12-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

Since yesterday's post was a little gloomy, here is a much happier post today.
Isn't this the most precious thing ever?
This baby TOTALLY has my son's nose. And I firmly believe that these are the cutest of all noses in the entire world.

GRAPHIC NATURE POST

2011-12-13T15:12:00.000-08:00

I really am beginning to think that this baby is a girl because she is being SO dramatic.
Yesterday was like any other day. I went to work, I took my final for class, I got Caderyn from daycare, I made dinner and then I got a prenatal massage.
I came home so relaxed and happy.
I was getting ready to take Miss Princess Fluffykins (aka Lucy) for a walk around the block when I realized I had to go to the bathroom. I did my business and noticed (CAREFUL HERE THIS IS GRAPHIC) there was some blood. I instantly grounded myself to the couch, resolving to monitor my body.
It got a little better as I moved less and drank more water.
I went to bed.
I woke up to go to the bathroom around 3:30 a.m. and after what I saw immediately called the Emergency Room. I talked to a few nurses who advised me to monitor my blood loss over the next hour. If it maintained, they told me to come in first thing in the morning.
I called my doctor first thing, watching the clock with every passing second.
They, again, put me on bed rest and bumped up my ultrasound appointment.

Ultrasound appointment revealed THE CUTEST LITTLE BABY EVER with cute little feet and hands and a high heart beat (girl?). But also revealed that I have placental previa. This is basically where the placenta is covering my cervix. In my case, it is scraping up against my cervix and that's where they believe the bleeding is coming from. They told me at the moment, it's not of too much concern, but to monitor the blood loss if it continues and communicate that with them. As we go along more, if this problem does not eventually correct itself, then I become a very high candidate for a C-section. I don't want this. But if this is what it takes to ensure both of our safety, obviously, we will do what it takes.
The problem with the Internet these days is that there is too much information out there to freak people like me out. I spent about five minutes looking through what the Internet had to offer me on placental previa and I and trying not to lose my cool.
Everything will be fine.
It has to be.
This baby and I are an essential part of this family.

So today, I am taking it easy and thinking calming thoughts while I wait, yet again, to hear back from my doctor.
Tomorrow I will go to work and all will be fine.
All will be fine.
If I can get my act together I'm going to put some pictures of the world's cutest 13-week fetus online.

This pregnancy is so much different that my first one!

2011 IN REVIEW AND A BUMPDATE

2011-12-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

Well Good Morning!
Today is a busy day here.

I have my final for my class today. I will be so glad when that beast is over.
I am celebrating by having a prenatal massage tonight. I can hardly wait. I am so very sore these days.

On another note, I am glad this year is almost over.
This year has been an exhausting one for me...
Here is my 2011 Year in Review...beware this will probably be a long one.

January
January was a time of BIG change in our family. Jeff resigned his position as sports editor at the newspaper and joined the National Guard. He left on January 17 for three and a half months of basic training. They sent him away and we were only allowed to talk three times on the phone. We did send each other lots of letters. Caderyn got Cars slippers and I experienced single-parenthood in all of its gloriousness and pitfalls.

February
The month of LOOOVE. I traveled occasionally to keep my mind off of the loneliness. I reflected a lot on that loneliness and how lucky I was to have Jeff and Caderyn and all of my wonderful family in my life. Caderyn and I started baking together.

March
My month of birth. The day when I emerged into the late 20s scene by turning 26. I threw myself a very fun party with lots of food, drinks, friends and jewelry. I reached my weight loss goal! I dropped all of the baby weight I had gained. I celebrated by eating a cupcake. Lucy got very sick and made my house look like a crime scene. I cut my hair and my parents came to visit.

April
Jefferson finally made it home. I booked a trip to Phoenix. Jeff and I had a romantic date weekend. We dyed Easter Eggs and went to Great Falls for Easter. Jeff and I started talking about having another baby.

May
I went to Phoenix and saw my cousin's band, The Fleet Foxes, play. Awesome! Osama bin Laden died. The weather started to get nice...and then it snowed again. Caderyn's verbal really exploded and he hasn't stopped talking since. I contracted MRSA and started my 24/7 work schedule.

June
Potty training began (and is still going). The wonderful season of garage sales started. Jeff turned 28. We participated in the Governor's Cup and Caderyn ran the entire mile. My parents made it up here for their summer vacation- yay! I started Thursday Threads. I still had MRSA. I rarely saw Caderyn.

July
I still had MRSA. We went to Holter Lake for the 4th of July and Caderyn experienced his first accident requiring stitches. He was very brave. We took family pictures. I read lots of books. My brother was here. We booked our trip to San Jose for Jeff's sister's wedding and an anniversary trip to San Fran. Bryanna came to visit. Jeff and I went to a wedding and we also got to go to Flathead Lake for a day. We boarded our flight to San Jose and Caderyn could hardly contain his excitement of getting on the plane. He loved every second of it. We made it to San Jose and had a whirlwind time of fun and festivities. Rarely saw my son until the end of July.

August
We went to San Fran for our 4th wedding anniversary. Caderyn started saying some pretty funny stuff.
My work schedule slowed down and I got to spend more time with my son.

September
Work started to pick up again and I started my class. Lucy was NOT a lady. Caderyn got sick and we had to do lots of breathing treatments. Went to Great Falls for my cousins baby shower. I fell in love with Thor.

October
Work got even busier. I started sticking it to Pinterest. We found out we were pregnant. Kept it a secret. I went to Phoenix and told my parents. Got back from Phoenix and got super sick. Was told I was having a miscarriage. Then I was told I wasn't.

November
I was still really sick. Then they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I got worse. Then they figured out what was wrong with me and put me on antibiotics and bed rest. I got better. And we were officially pregnant. Yay. It snowed. I brought out the tights and snow boots. We went to Great Falls for Thanksgiving and had a blast.

December.
Pregnant. Excited.

On to 2012!
This year will also be a year of big changes for us.
Jeff is going back to school in January. FULL TIME. He is resigning at the paper (trust me, this is a goooood thing) and going to the University of Montana to get his Master's in Business Administration. He will be there 2-3 years and will also be doing ROTC. Once he graduates from both the school of Business and ROTC, he will have a Master's AND an officer title. So, this is a big change for us. We've talked and talked about it until we're blue in the face. It will be hard. I am not going with Jeff (at the moment). It doesn't make sense to close off both of our incomes and just up and move. We have expenses that need to be paid. If, in time, I do find a job that is suitable, then we will consider moving. For now, we will be long distance. Seeing Jeff every chance we get. Some people might think we're crazy, but we really feel now is the time for Jeff to do this. The career he has now isn't going anywhere and he does not like his job. He has my support 100 percent in this and that is all that matters. Our marriage is strong and the goal is clear. We will get through this and on to the next stage of our lives.
Another big change will be the new addition to our family in June. I am nervous, but excited. We will no longer be a family of three, but a family of four. That just sounds very complete to me.
P.S. I still think it's a girl. We get to schedule out boy/girl appointment tomorrow!

2011, you were exhausting but fun. I'm glad you are nearly gone.
2012, you already sound like you will be exhausting, but I'm ready for you. Bring it on.

Here is your weekly bumpdate. Me, 12-weeks, and ready for my work Christmas Par-tay.

ZEE CHRIIIISTMAS TREEEE (SAY IT IN A FRENCH ACCENT)

2011-12-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

Our little ole' six foot tree was given to us by my grandparents.

It's very loved.

It may not be a seven foot beauty full of thousands of lights, but I can't help but think it gets prettier with each new year.

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2011-12-09T05:45:00.000-08:00

MAN, I am getting pretty crafty these days.

Here is another (non-food, hooray) little doozy I found on Pinterest.

I love it. I have these in all of my large windows. They are just so very festive and make me happy to look at.

All I did was buy some balls (heehee) and ribbon and then attach it to my window shutters. I had some extra balls (heehee) left over so I used them around different rooms in our house.

VOILA.

THURSDAY THREADS

2011-12-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Lisa:

Please stop having a sore throat and come take my pictures.

Jeff just isn't cutting it as a photog and I think I'm going to have to let him go.

Love,

I had enough energy and time this week to pose for an outfit post. But, looking at these pictures and how chubby my face is getting...I might reconsider until after baby #2 is born.

Love this outfit. Love that it still fits my expanding belly and butt.

Brown shirt: The Limited

Tan and maroon skirt: The Limited

Tights: Target

Boots: Herbergers

Earrings (which you can never see because of my crazy hair): Silpada

Also, for those of your interested, I'm 12-weeks today! Almost seeing the light at the end of the first trimester!

Little bean is 2 1/4 inches long and weighs 1/2 ounce.

About the size of a lime.

Little bean's tissues and organs have begun to grow and mature rapidly.

Bean's face is starting to form more and more each day. The big thing Bean is working on this this week is reflexes.

I'm feeling pretty good. I really only had that one awful day of all day sickness.

Other than that I've had moments when I feel really yucky, but it passes after I eat a snack, drink some water or go for a walk.

My energy levels are up.

I can still fall asleep on cue, but I now have motivation to clean my house.

Food aversions: None at the moment

Cravings: Oranges, strawberries, water, pizza, peppermint ice cream with hot fudge (but I've been very good).

Also, my belly has popped. My doctor laughed at my appointment on Tuesday because I was telling her how I went to bed one night able to sleep on my stomach and woke up the next morning and all my clothes were tighter and it looked like I had a gut.

We have an ultrasound on Tuesday.

Exciting!

CHILLING WITH SANTA

2011-12-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

The soldier hubster had drill last weekend. So, to kill some time, I took the kiddo to the local carousel to see Santa, go for a ride and eat some ice cream.

It was a good time.

Caderyn was sure a two-year-old stinker that day, though!

He was very excited to see Santa and told him he wanted a train table and some new trains.

This kid loves candy canes and I am forever worrying about his teeth.

After Santa, Caderyn told me he wanted to ride the carousel. Since this little guy gets so many ear infections, we think it has had some odd effect on his equilibrium. He usually is terrified of the carousel. So I was surprised he wanted to go for a ride. We started off riding on a fish, but then I think the ear thing started to kick in, so we moved to a tea cup. He loved this and stayed calm and happy the entire ride. Total Mom Success.

And then we got some ice cream.

Oh it was good!

Caderyn had fun peeking over the booth to look at Santa. He did it probably five or six times and would just giggle as hard as he could.

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2011-12-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

I actually found the time to take some pictures of my son this weekend.
Those will come when I motivate myself to plug in my camera...I will work on that tonight...maybe.

As some of you know, Pinterest has recently become my obsession. I can proudly say I've also gotten a few other people addicted to this large pinning board of favorites.
I love it.
I love it so much that I didn't want it to go to waste, so I've started challenging myself to try and recreate the majority of my pins. Now, some of these will never come to life. But I'm attempting to recreate quite a few of them. As of late, everything I've been showing has been food I've made from Pinterest.

Well, this weekend, I challenged myself to do something a little different.
Caderyn and I made reindeer ornaments.
This is the website I pinned, and here is the example picture:

Cute, huh!?

Caderyn had a lot of fun making these ornaments and we are still making them since he has decided he wants lots of other people to have ornaments he has made.

Here is our finished product, proudly hanging from a Caderyn height spot on our Christmas tree.

I couldn't figure out how to rotate the picture, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

Cute, right!

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2011-12-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

Last night for dinner, I made this:

Only mine wasn't as pretty- behold:

This little number here is called Chicken Enchilada Pasta

I thought is tasted just like chicken enchiladas. Jeff said he liked it, but it wasn't spicy enough and Caderyn thought it was too spicy. I thought it was yummy. Next time I will serve a side salad or some rice with it.

So how do you make this?

Well let me tell you!

Cook the chicken, I boiled three chicken breasts for an hour and a half and then had Jeff shred the chicken.

Husbands are good for something, right? Touching chicken just grosses me out right now. Bleh.

In a soup pot or deep skillet, add 2 T of olive oil and 1 cup of diced onions.

Cook for 5 minutes.

Add 1 chopped red pepper and 2 cloves of minced garlic (I LOVE GARLIC).

Cook for 5 minutes.

Then add 2/3 c of red enchilada sauce (I used Hatch).

and 1 1/2 cans of green enchilada sauce (I used Hatch).

1 can of diced green chili's

1 tsp of cumin (anyone else think this smells like B.O.? But it makes everything so tasty!)

1/2 tsp of salt

Add shredded chicken.

Bring to a boil and let it simmer for 10 minutes.

While letting it simmer, cook your whole wheat or regular penne pasta.

After the 10 minutes is up, add 2 cups of Colby jack cheese and cook on low, stirring often to melt and mix the cheese.

Drain your pasta and set aside.

Once the cheese is all mixed add the 1 cup of cour cream and remove it from the heat! If you don't the sour cream will curdle.

Stir, stir, stir like crazy to prevent curdling and to mix in the sour cream.

Once this is done add your noodles and stir.

Garnish with tomatoes, avocados, cheese, olives and/or sour cream.

Yum!

On a side note, I also tried to make these last night:

Seems pretty easy, right?

Well just you wait.

Caderyn had a rough night where there were more tears and screaming than smiles.

In my stress, I forgot to add the sour cream the recipe called for.

So now I have some sour cream-less Oreo cupcakes sitting in my fridge and I'm wondering if they're worth eating.

*Sigh* all those Oreos. Wasted.

RANDOM REDHEAD

2011-12-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

I like that title, don't you? I'm very random and, of course, I am a redhead. Methinks I'm going to have to use that more.

I've been a little absent this week.
I know.
I'm just so tired.
I don't even have Christmas up in our house yet and THAT JUST DEPRESSES ME.
On Tuesday night I fell asleep mid-text message with someone.
WHO DOES THAT?
me. i guess.

So to calm all your nerves (I know you all been dyingfor me to post something spectabulous) here are a few iPhone pictures of what I've been doing lately.
Thrilling right?

On Tuesday, I participated in the Festival of Trees decorating day. We've actually all been working on this tree since September, but Tuesday was THE big day it all came together. Our tree was a "Sweet Tree-t" and we had lots of fun putting it together and raising the almost $2000 worth of donations. My favorite part of the tree is our cupcake topper. I just want to eat it. Now.

Lately, this dog and her photographs have been cracking me up. But none so much as this one.

Don't look into her eyes.

She will steal your soul.

It looks like she already nabbed Jefferson's.

I've not been much of a cook this week. This was about as culinary as I got. Butternut squash raviolis with white sauce and sausage. It was okay. It didn't knock my tastebuds out of the park.

Again, this dog just cracks me up. My son does too, but he never holds still long enough for a picture and Lucy just soaks up all of the attention.

THANKSGIVING VIA INSTAGRAM 2011

2011-11-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving, I didn't take any pictures on the camera. Not a single one.
We were too busy snuggling and eating. And eating and sleeping. Eating and shopping. And eating and watching Lifetime Christmas movies.
But, I did snap some classy pictures on my phone.
So, here is a collection of my Thanksgiving experience, via my random phone pictures.

Lucy gets the royal treatment at my Grandparents.

Making Grandma's chocolate pie.

Sticker crazy after dinner.

Lazy dog gets caught on my in-laws bed.

Enjoying The Muppet Movie with Mema.

LITTLE BEAN

2011-11-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

Little Bean:

Happy Thanksgiving.
Today and every day I am SO thankful for you!
I am thankful you are still here with me after everything we have been through so far.
It's got to be just smooth sailing from here, right?

I am actually feeling pretty good.
I had one nasty day of being really sick with you and that's been it. I do have moments where I feel really icky or just plain ole tired like last night when I was trying to stay awake and I just couldn't.
Your Daddy is already so used to having to wake me up from the couch so I can just collapse again into bed.
We are 10 weeks today.
Unlike other mother's who are comfortable and confident in sharing their pregnancy weight gain, I am not.
And I will not.
I will say I am still in my regular clothes. My jeans are a little snug in the tummy area and I've noticed I can't wear certain tight shirts because of the little pooch you have created. It's definitely true with the second one, you show a little sooner. I may not look full on pregnant, but I definitely notice I can't suck parts of my stomach in anymore.
I am noticing I'm not as bloated with you as I was with your brother.
I wonder if a lot of this has to be with healthier eating, drinking more water and working out routinely.
Hmmmm.
Cravings: Pizza like a crazy person! Oranges. Strawberries. Water. Milk.
Aversions: left overs. They smell weird. Macaroni and Cheese (which is weird because I ate so much of it with your brother). Not really into sweets. I still eat them, but its not really what I want. Let's hope it stays this way.
I can usually sleep with you like a champ until around 4:00 a.m. and then I'm up and uncomfortable and have to move out to the couch and my heating pad.
Recently, it has become uncomfortable to sleep on my tummy. Dang!

THURSDAY THREADS

2011-11-24T11:56:00.000-08:00

I know you're all wondering about this, and the fact of the matter is, yes, I have no make up on in this picture.

I love no make up days, and sometimes I even let myself be photographed without makeup!

GASP

Dress: I got this in October from TJ Maxx for $35

Tights: Target $8.99

Boots: Keen, red. $140 These were a birthday present and I so, so very much love them with all of my heart.

Earrings: Silpada

I SAW IT ON PINTEREST

2011-11-23T08:49:00.000-08:00

Source

Last night we had some friends over to celebrate a birthday.

Since I'm feeling pretty good these days, I was itching to try a new recipe.

I grabbed this because I thought it looked tasty and would go really well on a cold, winter's day.

The ingredients are few and its a crockpot dinner so I LOVE that.

Any excuse I have to use my crock pot and look like a master chef extraordinaire, I will.

So, for four people, I put in four chicken breasts.

2 cans of cream of mushroom soup (low sodium).

2 T of Italian seasoning

1/2 t of celery seed- BUT I couldn't find this anywhere so I used celery flakes. I didn't notice anything different.

1T of onion powder

1 T sugar

1/4 t pepper

1 t salt

mince 2 cloves of garlic. I love garlic.

Add that all together and based on when you are serving dinner, set the crock pot on low or high so that it cooks thoroughly. I cooked mine on low from 8:30 until 1:00 p.m. and then left it on warm until 4:00 p.m. and then put it back on low. My crock pot is a cooking beast and if I had just left it on all day until 6:00 p.m. the meal would have burnt.

When you are 30 minutes from eating, bring out a block of cream cheese and add it. Turn the crock pot on high for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally so it gets mixed.

Serve over rice or noodles.

IT WAS DELICIOUS!

It is very heavy, but very good.

I served it with bread sticks and asparagus.

For dessert I made a pizzookie. A pizza cookie and we put ice cream on it.

UM, yum.

WELCOMING WINTER

2011-11-22T09:59:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday through Friday, we got dumped on with snow.

It's always exciting, this first big snow of the season.

Caderyn was especially excited and kept trying to walk in the snow without his snow boots on, only to get snow down his shoes and socks. Cold feet= cranky Caderyn.

So on Saturday, with the snow pack fresh and powdery, we all bundled up and went outside to play together in the yard.

Caderyn finally got to try on his new snow suit that I scored at a garage sale for $10. This baby is a Land's End snow suit and those things are pricey, but oh so amazing! I consider this and my SpotBot the best garage sale deals of my summer.

Caderyn got a new sled that he loved pulling around the yard.

He and his Daddy also made some snowballs.

Lucy thought this was the best day ever because she got to go out and bound around in the snow.

She was having so much fun she didn't even notice all of the snow or ice on her face.

Also, we couldn't find her legs in the snow.

After pulling the sled around, making snowballs and watching Lucy bound around the yard like a psycho, Caderyn decided he wanted to walk all around the yard and the house making tracks.

Then we went for a walk around the block before Caderyn decided he was too cold.

Looks chilly, huh! Well it is.

FOR MY PARENTS

2011-11-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas is my favorite holiday!
I have you two wonderful people to thank for making it my favorite holiday!
You always made it so special for my brother and I!

Here are some gifting ideas, in case you were wondering.

Now, my Dad will protest, especially since I've been sending them list updates almost on a daily basis.

Hey. The more informed you are the better. Right?

1. I need some new running shoes. Like really bad. I admire these. But am absolutely in love with THESE

Aren't those colors fun? P.S. I'm a size 9, but a 9.5 might be better.

2. New headphones. I don't like the ear buds. I have very small ears and those buds just don't fit. I like the wrap-around kind. The kind that look like this.

3. A puffy vest. Brrr. These winters are cold here in Montana. I really like this but I also like this.

4. A new camera. Maybe. You don't have to, but if you're really grappling... this would be sweet. I don't need a fancy schmancy camera. I don't do professional photography all that much. I would just like one like this or this

5. Perhaps an external hard drive thingy to store all of our pictures on. Dad, part of me thinks you are glowing with pride at seeing that statement.

6. I need to get new foundation from Skin Chic and I always, always need moisturizer from Sephora. I use the Ole' Henricksen brand. Ask me for more details.

7. I LOVE this picture.

8. Maybe a gift card to Target or Pier 1. I would like to get a pretty lamp for the entry way.

9. A cupcake

10. You know the most important gift of all this Christmas is that we will be in the same state together, getting to see each other. Yay!

FOR JEFF

2011-11-21T14:26:00.000-08:00

Dearest Jeffy.
Here be my Christmas list for the 2011 season.

Don't forget. You love me very much and I love you and that's why we give little gifties during this Christmas season. Your 28th season and my 26th season.

1. I would please, very much like this:

At the moment, I am down to just a few squirts of my favorite scent. Please, please get me the BIG bottle.

2. I would like a prenatal massage from Mr. Murphy. It is $35 for an hour and a half which I think is beyond reasonable. He can be reached here

3. I would really like a manicure and pedicure from Her Alibi. I like Denise. She is the only nail lady I like.

That's all.

Loveth you-eth.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

2011-11-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

Just another blanket on the bed.

Move along.

THIS GUY...

2011-11-18T08:22:00.000-08:00

This guy, his name is Caderyn.

His name means "Battle Ruler."

He is a full on two-and-a-half-year-old.

He talks. All of the time.

He throws temper tantrums.

He has never ending energy.

He drags out his bed time as long as possible.

He snuggles.

He tells us, " I miss you." When he really means, "I love you."

He is obsessed with cars and trains and trucks and helicopters and boats and...

He is so, so tall. He's as tall as my hip.

He loves to bake.

He loves to help.

He loves to read.

He fell down in the snow two days ago and cried about his "cold owie" for twenty minutes. He was inconsolable.

When we compliment him, he says, "Yes, I know, I'm handsome."

When he really doesn't want to do something he tells us he's "farting." As if that would get him out of eating dinner.

He loves going places.

He constantly wants to know who is coming to visit him.

Yesterday, he told me I looked like a pirate...whatever that means.

This guy is my buddy bear.

THURSDAY THREADS

2011-11-17T21:16:00.000-08:00

Hey. I still have two hours left in this Thursday.
So, bear with the pictures on this outfit.
It was a long day. We were all tired. The husband had five seconds to take the picture before I threated sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Me trying not to laugh as Caderyn runs around telling us he's "farting."

Vogue

Super comfy outfit.
Green coat: Old Navy like a year and a half ago. I got this on super, super clearance for $6.99 and it was one of the best buys I've ever made. I get so many comliments on this coat!
Dress: Max Studio from Nordstrom's Rack. Got this baby in October for $36
Tights: Target $8.99
Black suede wedges: Antonio Melani from Dillards. $80 and I love them to pieces.
Jewels: Silpada

THAT KIND OF A DAY...

2011-11-16T14:37:00.001-08:00

Oh yeah. It's a day for purple tights and heavy duty snow boots up here in the big M-T.
Brrrrrr!

SNOW

2011-11-14T14:54:00.000-08:00

For sho'.

Lucy knows.

FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES

2011-11-11T07:24:00.000-08:00

This was from when my mom was here last week and I'm still chucking about it.

*Caderyn is standing over in a corner, grunting...clearly pooping. My mom and I are accosted by the smell seconds later*

Me: Caderyn did you go poop in your diaper?

Caderyn: Nooooooooo

Me: Are you sure you didn't go poop? It is stinky over here.

Caderyn: No. I didn't go poop. Mimi, did you?

MEETING THE TOILET. FACE TO...BOWL

2011-11-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

"Sarah," you ask, "Where are your Thursday Threads?"
"Why have they been lacking?"
"Why is there a picture of your dog in a squirrel costume?"
"Isn't that just cruel?"

Well, yes. It is probably cruel to put my dog in a squirrel costume when I know that she hates squirrels.
But...it made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. Her face is priceless.
Plus, I've had stuff going on in my life.
Like this
And then this
And theeeen this

I was all prepared yesterday to have the hubster take an outfit photo on our lunch break. It was a cute sweater/ skirt and tights combo. You all would have liked it. I did.
But then morning sickness happened. BIG TIME.
And you know what? I am so thankful it did.
Yesterday was the first day I actually felt pregnant pregnant. My body wasn't in pain anymore.
It was wonderful and reassuring because I knew that this little beanie of a gummy bear was growing inside of me. Granted, the little beanie was being a bit dramatic about it, but I was so thankful to feel that way.
For the past couple weeks, all I have done is worry and worry about the little gummy bear inside of me. Its health, it's well-being etc. So yesterday, when the toilet and I met face to...er...bowl...I stopped worrying because I knew this babe was going to be just fine.

An interesting thing about this morning sickness bout, with Caderyn, I would get sick like maybe once a week and once it was over I was starving! Hello cupcakes!
With this new pregnancy, I was sick the rest of the day and night.
I literally could not eat or really drink anything. It was hard to move off the couch for fear of throwing up and I was passed out on the couch by 9:00 p.m.
I didn't even eat dinner. *GASP* This is a huge thing for me. I love to eat, and usually have to eat at the same time each day or I get CRANKY! 7:00 a.m. breakfast 11:30 a.m. lunch and 5:00 p.m. dinner.

So this now leads to my next thought process.
I think this baby will be a girl.

My reasonings are:
1. This baby has been very dramatic in its very early 8 week existence. See the above, highlighted links.
2. Only a little girl would keep me sick all day long. Like she will worry me sick for the next 18 years of her life. She's just reminding me what I'm in for.
3. I have an odd taste in my mouth. All of the time. Didn't have this with Caderyn.
4. I'm not craving sweets. At. All. Which is odd because all I wanted with Caderyn were cupcakes. All I want is water.

We shall see, but that's where I'm at right now.

I feel really good today! Good enough that I let the hubster take some outfit pictures. So, we'll have a new Thursday Threads next week!

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

2011-11-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

Just another piece of laundry needing to be put away.

UGH

2011-11-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

I have morning sickness OR all day sickness as it should properly be labeled.
It Stinks with a capital S!

I have not missed morning sickness.

I vommed up everything I ate from the past two days (pretty sure that's how much it was) and then I ate some Mac N' Cheese. And now I think that could be vommed up too.

I could also fall asleep at my desk. BUT I WON'T.

On the positive side, I don't have to make dinner tonight.
Yeah.
'Cause we would have had frozen waffles.

HALLOWEEN DAY

2011-11-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

My friend Lisa provided some pictures that I posted from Halloween night about a week ago.

Here are some pictures from Halloween day.

Sorry they are late. Bed rest, remember?

I picked Caderyn up from daycare early and we went to Daddy's work to get dressed.

Our downtown does this cute trick or treat event for tots. People go all out crazy for it and this was our very first experience.

Caderyn didn't like this as much as he liked trick or treating at night.

It was very overwhelming and loud and lots of odd costumes.

Mr. Werewolf

Ready to go with his candy bag

Waiting for Daddy

Growling at Mommy

Ready to get some candy!

Look at that lip! Someone is ready to go home!

ON THE EVE OF HALLOWEEN

2011-11-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

I'm late on these.

But remember, I haven't been well.

I'm on the up and up a little.

I have one more doctor's appointment tomorrow and hopefully I'm cleared to just be pregnant. Not pregnant on bed rest. Not pregnant with complications. Not pregnant with high risks.

Just pregnant.

Without further adieu here is what we did the night before Halloween:

Mother of the year right here. I am the mom that gave her son the lingerie section of the newspaper to paint his pumpkin on. He actually painted over their bras...oh dear.

So serious

Jeff and I tag-team-carved a pumpkin. This was his portion.

It was a very fun night!

NURSE

2011-11-06T09:43:00.000-08:00

So I got a new phone. I entered the "cool persons" realm of the iPhone.
And so now I am entering the mobile photo realm as well.
Hmmm, lots of realms I'm crossing in to lately.

Since I've been on bed rest since Thursday, Lucy has been a constant presence by my side.
Without further adieu, I wold like to introduce you to my nursemaid:

With those ears she could fly around the world in a matter of seconds.

BED REST

2011-11-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

Still on bed rest.
Feeling better though!
My mom is here so that obviously makes everything awesome.

CAUTION: THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT LADY PROBLEMS.

2011-11-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it feels like I just can't get a full breath.
Like these last two weeks where every second felt dragged out. Every doctor's appointment felt like an eternity and the questions I have stretch for miles.

So I went back to the doctor yesterday. I had another ultrasound and saw the gummy bear baby in my tummy which was AMAZING. Every time I see that little munchkin I want to cry. Then I was told my infection wasn't better, so they switched my antibiotics. I was also told they needed to cauterize something on my cervix.
Let me just say that was one of the single worst moments of my life.
The doctor didn't really prep me for it. She said it was just better to get it over with.
So mid sentence she cauterized whatever it was that needed cauterization and the echos of my screams and curses rang through the hall.
I'm a bit traumatized from it.
And really, really sore.

I'm also bleeding again and cramping...but I don't know if that's normal as part of the cauterization and all of the exams I had yesterday. Part of me wants to call my doctor right now. Part of me keeps saying to relax.

I have never wanted to keep something so badly in my entire life and the fact that I have absolutely no control over any of it just terrifies me.

So I am waiting until noon and if the bleeding stays the same I am going to call.

Sorry for the graphic nature of this blog. I've just got to write it out so it doesn't make my head explode from thinking about it too much!

HALLOWEEN 2011 PREVIEW

2011-11-01T15:40:00.000-07:00

Another Halloween has come and gone. This was my favorite one yet!
Caderyn really got in to trick-or-treating this year.

For 2011, Caderyn was a werewolf and Miss Lucy was a pumpkin.
More pictures to follow! Thanks to Lisa for these

Me update: Thanks to everyone for all your kind words. I actually feel really great today! I have a really bad infection on my ovary so that's what they are treating for the pain and blood (grossssss Sarah! stop that!). I just have to take it easy...which is not easy at all. We are officially 7 weeks pregnant today. Yay!

SPEECHLESS

2011-10-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how to begin this entry.
This past week has been absolutely draining for me and I'm sure everyone else who has grieved over our news. Which by the way, you all are amazing. Your responses have been so touching and comforting to me while I was in my cloud of gray. Your prayers and thoughts alone got me out of bed and out the door each morning. I feel so blessed and such an intense amount of love for all of my friends and family.

Every time I talked to my doctor this week and described what was happening with my body, the news given to me was always the same, "You're having a miscarriage."
And I believed her and the signs my body was showing me.

But today. TODAY of all days I have never been such a firm believer in GOD.
We went to have an ultrasound because I am still bleeding (gross, sorry) a lot and I'm having some really intense pain. They thought my body was having trouble passing the embryo/baby/whatever you want to call it.
I grabbed some Kleenex because I knew, no matter what, that I was going to lose it.
The lady got the ultrasound going and we noticed something on the screen that was confusing.
There was a sac. With a little bean. AND A HEARTBEAT.
"You have a healthy baby!" the lady exclaimed.
And I absolutely lost it.
I was floored. After everything we've been through this week, after everything we've seen...God has given me hope.

So...I am still pregnant. The baby looks so amazing and healthy.
I am shocked. I can't stop crying.
This has pretty much been the standard all week for me (I'm crying right now).

BUT
There is the concern that I am having a lot of pain and bleeding a lot (gross, sorry).
And by a lot. I mean A LOT.
Gross.
So they are going to look at my ultrasound pictures and get back to me.
My right ovary looks really angry (a direct quote from the ultrasound gal).
Which could mean two things:
1. My body is just weird and I'm getting rid of another egg. So I'm basically having my monthly time...even though I'm pregnant.
OR
2. We are actually pregnant with twins but one of the pregnancies is ectopic. Long story short, this is dangerous. If this is in fact what is happening, then I will need to have surgery. We will know more today or tomorrow.

You guys, I am just shocked.
I can't believe what an up and down week this has been.
I'm a little ticked that my doctor didn't get me in sooner to confirm things.
I am scared still because I don't really know what the heck is going on with my body.
I am embarrassed that I wrote my emotions and shared what I was going through with people, and now I have to write the opposite.
But, I am a writer. That is really one of the only ways I know how to share what I am truly feeling. It gave me such a sense of calm and piece to write.

And now. I AM JUST SO DANG AMAZED.

CHANGE

2011-10-26T10:14:00.000-07:00

Driving around town this morning, I realized the leaves were falling.
Falling from the trees like tears.
It was amazing to me, watching these leaves just fall and fall and fall.
I actually had to pull over to the side of the road to watch (I'm doing some really weird things this week).
There was no wind.
It was just cold.
And for some reason the leaves were snapping off and dropping one right after the other without pause.

I thought about the trees having to let go of something that is beautiful, something that is a part of them.
They probably feel stripped, naked and sad to have lost something that was a part of them.
Probably like I'm feeling now.

But then I remembered that eventually the leaves grow back. Eventually the trees are beautiful again.
They need some time to heal. To hibernate. To grow.

Just like me.

I had a really good internal conversation last night.
I went over my emotions:

I am angry. So very angry that there is nothing I can do.

I am sad. So sad it fills to the very tips of my fingers and envelops me in a dense cloud of gray.

I am empty. At times I feel nothing at all.

I am sick. My body and heart ache.

I am emotional. Just ask Jeff. He has to deal with me crying at random at least three times a day.

I am confused. Why was this baby taken away from us when we had no trouble with our first one?

I am understanding. This was God's way of telling me something was wrong with this baby and it would have been too much for us to handle to bring such a sick little one into this world.

I am respectful. God has a plan for me. This baby was not in that plan. Another one will be.

I am hopeful. One day, when I die, I will meet this sweet baby and get the whole story. I will hear how he (because I had a feeling it was a boy) has been having eternal fun with the angels in heaven and has always been with me.

Watching me and loving me.

DISCONNECTION

2011-10-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

In the past weeks, I have written probably a dozen posts and thought of multiple, creative ways I wanted to tell people the news.
We were pregnant.
And SO happy.
Jeff and I were both just SO over the moon.

We told a few people...we just couldn't stand to keep it to ourselves.

Well the tides have turned.
I'm having a miscarriage.
I am crushed.

My days are odd. I feel in my life but I also feel like an outsider.
I feel like I'm just going through the motions.
I feel angry, disappointed and intensely sad.
This morning I cried for a half hour in the shower.
I've cried probably five times at work today.
My emotions go from disconnected one minute to a full on melt-down the next.
I am in pain physically, mentally and emotionally.

I have one more doctors appointment tomorrow to confirm what I know is going on with my body.
My heart aches for the child that could have been.
I know there will be more.
I just wish I knew why this one was not chosen to walk in this world.
I know in time God will tell me.

For now I must say I have the best two support systems a gal could ask for.

So, if I am a bit quiet on here, Facebook or through the phone, bear with me.
I just don't really want to talk to anyone. It's nothing you have done, I just can't physically talk to you without losing it.
I'm frustrated that we told people and now we have to tell them the negative news.
I am just immensely sad. The sadness just fills me to the brim and spills out in tears that I hate.
This is not a normal mood for me and it scares me and frustrates me.

I need to focus on my son and my husband. Leaning on them a little to bring me out of the darkness.
I'll be back.
There will be another baby.